Jan 10 2009
Hangin’ With Family
Salutations!
Ahhhhhh…this is the most peaceful time of my day. We drove about 6 hours last night to my folks’ place. We’re hanging out for a long weekend with the family, including my sister and her 3 kids. That’s 4 children under the age of 5. It’s been a little nutty. But my mom is great, and I even got to go do some shopping with my sister! It’s been quite some time since I got to shop without managing a child at the same time! Huzzah!!!
Right now the kids are inside playing with some new toys and watching a movie. I’m sitting out on my parents’ deck, enjoying the relatively balmy evening, and listening to nothing but the rain. See what I mean? Doesn’t that sound peaceful??
I’m starting to relax so much that I’m struggling with a topic idea for today. I thought my theme for this post should relate to family, to commemorate my visit with family this weekend. Hmmm…yeah that will work. A nice easy topic so I don’t overtax my relaxing brain with anything too tough.
You know what would go great with this? A glass of wine. I wonder if…brb.
Success!!! Alright, I’m ready! Glass in hand; ready to blog!
There is a reason this topic is so easy for me, yet important enough to warrant its own post. Adoption or foster is not a couples only decision. If you have extended family, they need to be on board with what you’re going to be undertaking. Obviously they have slightly less to gain or lose in the process than you will, but the keyword here is SLIGHTLY. Imagine how hard this will be on a grandma who wants so badly to have grandchildren filling her home, then only to lose one because the kid returns to a bio family member. Don’t spring any surprises on Grandma. Not cool.
My family had been fantastic about our foster adopt. From day one, Kiddo has been accepted and loved as much as the bio kids my sis has. His picture is up on the wall prominently next to theirs. Right now he’s snuggled up on Grandma’s lap as the bio kids are lined up on the floor. He gets just as much attention as the others, if not more. My Kiddo is WAY better behaved than my sister’s kids 
Well he is! Sometimes.
I never had any doubt that my Kiddo would not get treated differently and not instantly accepted as one of the family, but never assume. Remember the old saying about assume…it makes an ASS out of U and ME. And remember, no surprises to Grandma’s poor old ticker.
It’s so easy to sit down and say “Hey Mom and Dad, I’m pregnant.” Everyone knows about the birds and the bees, so not a lot of explanation needs to happen. But sitting down and saying “Hey Mom and Dad, we’re thinking about fostering and adopting a child” is likely to get a slightly different reaction. I would recommend doing your research and coming armed with lots of info. Grams and Gramps are gonna have questions. Hey, I would love to help you out on that! Turn them onto my blog! 
There is something you just need to accept now as a foster parent. Things are always going to be harder. You’re going to have to know just a little bit more, advocate a little harder, pay a little better attention, work a little harder, and explain to your family just what it is you’re getting them all in to. Everyone knows about pregnancy, but few know about fostering.
Don’t mince words about the challenges of it, and don’t hide the fact that this is a FOSTER placement. It could be temporary. However, also talk about how absolutely vital it will be that this child is accepted and loved just as much as if the kid had sprung from your own loins. Even if the placement is temporary, there will be no greater gift that you could give a child. No matter what the age of the kid, even having the love of your family for a short while could make all the difference on the rest of their lives.
What I think will surprise everyone in your family is just how easy it is to fall in love with one of these kids. It doesn’t take a lot of effort, and the power of it will likely blow you away.
Well, that’s enough for today. It’s has stopped raining, but the air has that earthy smell. I am eyeballing that rocking chair over on the other side of the deck. I may just go sit in it for awhile and rock in peace. Felicity, thy name is grandparents.
