Mar 13 2009
Knock, Knock…HOUSEKEEPING!
Yeah, it’s late. I wonder if Hubby notices I’m not in bed. Doubtful (the snores are the indication that leads me to this conclusion), and even if he did, I’m sure he’s not worried. Tis the blight of many a spouse, I’m sure.
It’s midnight. Do you know where your significant other is? Oh yeah…they’re blogging.
I have a couple of housekeeping blog chores I need to complete, and it’s starting to make me batty.
First, I want to give a huge shout out to Caregiving Daughter for giving me the Lemonade Award. As she so eloquently put the description of the award, I can’t help but openly plagiarize her.
This award is to recognize blogs that are about making the best out of difficult situations. When life gives these
bloggers lemons, they just add a little sugar, stir it up, and make some great lemonade. Has life got you down? Then stop by these sites for some thirst-quenching lemonade for the soul.
Very sweet, in a tangy and lemony sort of way. Thanks so much, Caregiving Daughter. Nothing means more to me than acknowledgment and acceptance from my fellow bloggers, especially from ones as talented as her. It is great to think that someone out there thinks my site might be a little nourishment for the soul. That makes me happy.
As thankful as I am that she thought of me when thinking of sites to bestow the award on, I don’t feel I’m worthy. Life never really dealt me lemons that are stranger than anyone else’s lemons (when it comes to parenthood). My grandmother had a stroke when I was 8 years old, and we lived with her and my grandfather until she died (when I was 16) helping care for her. The stroke left her largely immobilized and completely dependent on us for all things, even as simple as using the bathroom. I know it’s not easy to care for our parents and grandparents, and Caregiving Daughter does a much better job facing life’s challenges than I do.
Second, I know I need to continue more about my previous post regarding some of the trials of foster parenting. I’ll get to it…I promise. No, I’m not trying to avoid the topic. Yes, I know I said the next post would be a continuation. Geesh you’re pushy.
Third, I wanted to set the scene a little before I continued our story. I know I’ve linked to this story I wrote in a past post, but it’s been a while and I like to think my readership has increased a little since then.
It’s a fictional story, but I wrote it based loosely on facts. I wrote it to submit to a collection of “dark” short stories.
If you’re interested in getting inside the head of a foster parent, and to get a taste of what it might be like to experience that so called worst case scenario, please click this link . Enjoy. Any feedback you have to offer would be appreciated.
I will take a look at it tomorrow, I promise. I’m about to slip into a coma right now. It deserves a real read.
Hey–take your time. We know you’ll get back to your post about foster parenting (wink). Congrats on the Lemonade Award. Some people may have more difficult situations to deal with than others, but we all have our crosses to bear. You’ve been positive about yours, and for that, you are deserving of the award.
Davida
Starting with the good:
As message fiction goes (and I’m infamous for my dislike of the stuff, so this is high praise), this is pretty unobtrusive stuff; it delivers its message without the requisite two-by-four. Well done.
I had a little trouble getting into it–now, admittedly, I’m highly picky. But I think there were a few technical things you could tighten up on, and a couple others that might strengthen it.
So, the technical, this-is-what-we-get-from-two-semesters-of-college-creative-writing stuff:
Vary the beginnings of your sentences a bit more. You’ve got a lot of clusters of consecutive sentences beginning with ‘he’, and that can be a bit off-putting.
Show, don’t tell. There are a lot of places where you break a paragraph’s flow to exposit–two sentence flashbacks, the dreaded “which” clause (that one’s a pet peeve of mine, since it always feels tacked on). And Lily’s conversation with Julia felt rather “As we both know, Bob”-like. While that does get the necessary information across, it also diminishes the emotional impact; there are so many words that it’s hard to get the emotion to show through. I’m sure you’ve seen shakespeare’s writing exercise on showing emotion; that’s what a lot of people are looking for. Don’t forget that there are some details people will just take for granted.
Show me what’s different. I have a hard time seeing what sets this family apart from similar families with this problem–why it’s their story being told in particular. Granted, this is a more me-specific point of critique, but I think it’s useful to be able to take it into account.
Is it supposed to shift perspective in mid-story? Bit disorienting.
Sorry if this seems a bit overcritical; I’m just trying to help.