Apr 02 2009
Fun Tidbits For Your Brain
I have nothing revolutionary to say today. Pity, huh?
I had a hankering to write anyway, so I went surfing for something to talk about. Google searches for adoption turned up lots of articles about Madonna and pets, but I’m not interested today. After all, I’ve been there and done that in these posts. I need some new material.
Scroll scroll scroll…click click click
And repeat.
Then I found this article . I saw the byline that it is from Science Daily, so I figured it had to be somewhat interesting. At least I could count on it not mentioning Madonna.
The thing that gets me about some of these studies is that someone actually spent 3 years of their life engrossed in something we all kinda know anyway. When it comes to parenting, why do some people prefer boys to girls, and vice versa?
Adoptive parents make a perfect subject to study this question, since we’re not forced to play gender roulette like biological parents. We can be choosy.
Dr Goldberg concludes: “This study represents the first investigation known to date that explores the child gender preferences of both heterosexual and sexual minority preadoptive parents. The data suggest that both the adoption context and the sexual orientation context may have implications for how men and women think about the gender of their future children.”
Thanks Dr. Goldberg for scientifically proving that conclusion. I’m pretty sure all parents, adoptive or otherwise, tend to obsess over the gender of their child. It’s kind of like ground zero for future development. Most of us would consider it a pretty big deal.
And no, this picture has nothing to do with genders and our babies. I just thought it 
was funny.
In case you’re concerned and despite the total lack of quality of this post, I’m not losing my marbles. I’m just a little punchy and I’m cooking up a new project. The reallocation of my brain power resources causes strange disruptions at first, but it will correct itself eventually. Have hope for tomorrow.
Plus, I’ll have a big announcement about the aforementioned project. Aren’t you excited??
One of the drivers that people forget is culture. Or they know that culture drives a particular gender but they don’t examine WHY it drives it (that gets explored in my novel, by the way). Take China. Everyone knows that, in China, boys tend to be favored and that girls are commonly available for adoption.
It’s easy to say, “Those bastards,” but you need to look at the background. In many cultures that favor male children, girls are effectively separated from their families at marriage. If you have a girl, you lose her to her husband’s family in ways that are hard to understand in Western culture (though we used to do the same). That might be acceptable, largely, if you have sons to carry your name or your business or take care of you when you get old. Ah yes.
In many of these cultures, it is the responsibility of the younger generation to care for their parents. Your daughter won’t care for you though, because it is her responsibility to care for her husband’s parents. Only your son. These cultures often don’t have retirement funds or pensions as we know it. Parents pour everything they have into their children, confident that their parents will repay them later.
Now, couple that with a one child per couple policy (as you have in China) and a longer lifespan, and sons are now taking care of parents and grandparents in both directions because there is no one else. I suspect that changes in the culture and what’s important will change, but it always changes slowly.
Ironically, my second husband was dead set against boys, just like my dad was. They both got some and learned to love them, but they favored girls more than a little. Odd, hunh?
Interesting, isn’t it, what kind of hogwash they’ll waste perfectly good research money on?!
In Russia and Ukraine, more boys are available for adoption. Rumor has it, that its because the women there feel single men would be more willing to raise another man’s daughter, as opposed to another man’s son.
Unfortunately, most people adopting from Russia/Ukraine want girls. So the poor boys languish in the orphanages through no fault of their own. It just breaks my heart.
You both bring up excellent points about culture.
What ultimately it boils down to, as Stephanie’s husband and dad learned through experience, is that joy can be found parenting a child of either gender, along with unique challenges.
I’m just trying to figure out how to teach a little boy how to pee standing up. It’s not something I’ve ever really had to ponder before, much less teach a toddler how to do it.