Apr 06 2009
Sometimes Fame Doesn’t Matter
Well whaddya know. Madonna flew home this weekend…without a new daughter.
Huh. Who woulda thunk it.
My first reaction was surprise. I didn’t honestly expect a country struggling like Malawi to turn away from a gift horse and not take advantage of the money and notoriety someone like Madonna has to offer. Can’t say I really blame them for wanting a piece of her very extensive financial pie.
My next reaction was happy. Good! See? Fame and fortune really can’t buy you happiness! Take that, Madonna! See what it’s like to be the rest of us that have to play by the rules. We don’t get little inconvenient laws bent and an army of lawyers at our beck and call to exploit loopholes. Now she knows what it feels like for thousands of other adoptive parents who’ve waited months, even years, for a court in another country to rule in their favor or paperwork to get sorted out. It SUCKS! It’s incredibly taxing, emotionally draining, and just downright exhausting.
That was all fine and good, until I saw this article this morning. Then, being the girly 
sucker I am, I started to feel bad. Check out this picture. I know that look. That look is layered sadness, dejection, hope, and perseverance all mixed up. I think this really hurt her.
I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anyone. It’s hard to describe the hurt of being within grasp of taking a child into your family, only to have it snatched away by a court. It’s so difficult to meet and spend time with that child, working towards finalizing that adoption, but not knowing. You want to just sweep that child up and reassure them that you will always be there to love them, but don’t yet have the approval of some judge in order to do that. This small innocent face just looks up at you, not knowing what to do or how to think, but wanting so badly to have you be the one that returns some love and sense of family.
I’m starting to think she really wanted this. No doubt she was hoping for a shortcut, but I’m guessing her heart really was in the right place. I’m so sorry for her.
However, it’s really Mercy that’s getting hurt through this whole mess. I doubt she knows what is really means to be Madonna (the whole fame thing), but she does know about mothers. She knows she needs one, that one was there, and now she’s not. Mercy doesn’t understand about courts and laws, but knows she’s still waking up each morning in an orphanage. How confusing and painful this must be for her.
Madonna will appeal. It will be interesting to see if the Malawi court will continue to stand their ground. How far will she be willing to go? How far would you go if you were her? Would you follow their rule and take up residency in Malawi for at least 18 months? No tours…no press junkets…no flitting about with A-Rod. Will she put that all on hold?
If she does, I may resurrect my old 1980’s old school Madonna collection and become a fan all over again.
In case you missed SNL’s weekend update, click here for your enjoyment. I tried to embed the video, but I’m having problems and got tired of fighting with it. Old fashioned links never fail!
That picture really does speak a thousand words. She looks like she is truly disappointed.
If she can fulfill requirements, I’m 100% with her. She could really be hurting. Or she could be having a tantrum. Hard to tell. I hope, for the child’s sake, it’s the former.
If you want a child, really want it, you’ll play by the rules. You’ll jump through the bureaucratic hoops or you’ll give up coffee and drinking or (in my case) sugar/carbs for the good of your child.
I hope she does.
Even though it’s hard on everyone in the meantime, I know that things that come to easy are often underappreciated. I had a grandmother put in and out of orphanages thanks to an “adoptive mommy” who only wanted her when she was useful. Things you work for, you appreciate.
Call me hard-hearted, but it should always be about what’s best for the child.
It is so incredibly sad for the little girl. Whether or not Madonna tried to cheat the system, the reality is a little girl, who had a chance at having a family, is now stuck in an orphanage. A place where NO child should have to be. Sad stuff indeed.
I felt bad for her too, but understood your point about her having to follow the rules like everyone else. If she really wants to adopt Mercy, Madonna will have to persevere and do whatever it takes.
Davida