Forever Family

So by now, I’m pretty much in some sort of emotional overload.  I don’t know much, and I am extremely hesitant to be hopeful, but my multi-tasking skills come in handy as I manage to make a lengthy mental baby prep checklist and come up with a whole slew of baby fantasies.  I’m already making an inventory of the baby stuff we’ve kept as Kiddo has grown out of them, and wondering how much a can of formula is going for these days.

No no.  Cannot think like that.  That’s how I got in so much trouble last time.  Be cool…chill out.  Breathe!

I look down at the phone number, and I begin dialing for the social worker.

Oh yeah, now I remember how it’s supposed to work with these guys.  Does she answer?  No.  Can I leave a message?  No.  Her mailbox is full.  Dammit.

Do you doubt that I didn’t dial that number every 30 minutes until I could either a.) speak with her, or b.) leave a message?  You bet your a** I did.

Surprisingly enough, I get through that afternoon.  Immediately I think, “It’s meant to be!”

Stop thinking like that!

This social worker can’t be more than 22 years old.  I wonder how she asserts herself in this very difficult job sounding so young.  But she’s crafty.  She doesn’t tell me much, other than a name, sex, and age.   She assures me that he’s safe.  The paternity of this child is different, and this time there are some relatives who can be trusted.

She can’t tell me much about the progress of the case, because it is till so very much in progress.  She can’t really even indicate to me that parental rights will be terminated.  The only information I can infer is that birthmom and birthdad have disagreed about what to do with the baby.  I sense there is some tension between birthmom and the whole birthdad family.

What I can guarantee you is that this social worker doesn’t think much of birthmom.

I ask her why we’ve been contacted.  If we’re not needed, then why get us involved?  We’ve taken great lengths to distance ourselves, and now we’re being pulled back in.  I appreciate that they let us know that Kiddo has a bio-sibling, and someday we’ll share that with him.  However, something else is going on here.  What gives?

She doesn’t really answer me.  She says that birthmom requested it.  I laugh and tell her I know they are not stupid enough to contact us just because birthmom may have some unresolved issues and needs some closure.

And yet, for sounding so young, she’s really good at evading me.

So I decide on a new tactic.  I decide to talk about us, and how well things are going.  I tell her how happy we are, and share some cute stories.  I point out how healthy Kiddo is and how far he’s come.  I hope I can maybe dazzle her with our parenting skills, in hopes that it might put some positives in our column if they’re considering what the permanency plan for this child should be.

I ask about birthmom specifically.  I hope SW can pick up on the bond (however strange it may have been) that b-mom and I had.  I tell SW about the conversation b-mom and I had about future children, and I told the SW that we would absolutely adopt any more children.

I even tell her that Hubby and I actually just had a conversation about working on child #2.  In fact, I had just been online the previous week looking up how the foster process works in our new state.  No joke!

All of a sudden, the mood of this girl changes.  She goes from somber to happy.  She’s “grateful” to hear that.  Grateful?!?!  What does that mean????

She then makes a request.  It’s on behalf of birthmom.  I need this conversation to end, because I’m getting all mixed up and my head is starting to ache.  I tell her we’ll talk it over, and I’ll call her back.

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